TED MOSBY IS NOT A JERK!
By now, I am sure you know about my conspiracy theory concerning who the real Ted Mosby is. But now, I HAVE PROOF! Proof that indisputably proves that...
Conan O'Brien is the real jerk!!!!
My suspicions have been confirmed.....
Because Tedmosbyisnotajerk.com recently received a letter from a heartbroken young lady from the New York area, who was duped by the despicable Conan O'Brien.
And who was Conan pretending to be?????
You guessed it!!! Ted Mosby! The Architect!
But the young lady (who wishes to remain anonymous) shared the whole ordeal with me. She asked me to publish her letter, so that the whole world may be warned to stay away from (as she calls him) the "Irish Wilt Chamberlain."
I know, what you're all thinking..."Irish Wilt Chamberlain? Conan doesn't even have the strength to lift a basketball!"
While this is certainly true, we shouldn't focus on such trifling matters. Instead...read the letter, experience this brave woman's pain, and spread the news that Conan O'Brien is a Jerk!
Dear Victoria,
After seeing your tedmosbyisnotajerk.com website, I finally realized that it was not the fabulous Ted Mosby who screwed me over one night last year. Rather, it was none other than Conan O'Brien, the walking chlamydia factory. Let me tell you the story...
I was at a Manhattan bar called McGee's when I saw the sexiest man I have ever laid my eyes on...Max Weinberg. He is like the Incredible Hulk...if instead of green and strong, he was a drummer and even stronger. Anyways, Max had like fifty women hanging on his arms. I didn't feel like competing so I just admired him from a distance.
Then this homely Irish fellow walks up to me and says, "Ted Mosby, Architect." And he gives me the wink and the gun, Carlton Banks style. I had heard great stories about Ted. He was supposed to be the perfect mixture of Brad Pitt, Josh Hotnett, and a Klondike bar.
So we started talking, he made me buy him a couple of drinks (I've never seen one man down so many Cosmos). And he invites me back to his office to check out his latest blueprints. Max had already gone home with four of the women, so my eye candy was gone. So I decided, "What the heck!" It is Ted Mosby after all. Apparently his "office" was a janitor's closet in the NBC Universal Studios basement.
I don't want to say what happened next but I am sure you can guess.
After we were done, Conan did a celebratory string dance. If you think he looks goofy dancing with his clothes on, you should see him wearing nothing but his black socks and adult diaper. Disgusting...I threw up in my mouth.
Twice.
I should have known then that it was Conan, but I was young and I was in love.
I tried to call him the next day, but he never called me back.
I was confused and heartbroken. Why would the great Ted Mosby do such a thing to me? Why?!?!?
Then I saw your site. And everything became clear! It was Conan all along!
So please share this with everyone! Tell them Conan O'Brien is a Jerk.
Sincerely,
(name withheld)
After reading about this poor woman's story, I decided to take action. I started following Conan around and taking pictures of him imitating Ted Mosby in order to have his way with unsuspecting star-struck woman, who think they are with the hottest architect the world has ever known.
The following is one shocking example of the lengths to which Conan O'Brien will go...shocking...but true.
So tell everyone you know that Conan O'Brien is a jerk.
And do whatever you can to stop his tyrannical sexcapades.
Another unsuspecting victim....when will this madness end???
